Just Frances

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A year later

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 12th, 2012 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: widowhood, scotland, moving, immigration, happy, goals, fear, faith, expat, dreams, drawings, celebrations

Today marks one year since I hit the reset button on my future. Yes, it’s been one year since I moved back to my beautiful, beloved Scotland.

If you’re a regular reader, you’ll know that the road leading up to my flight across the pond was a troubled one and that the entire adventure was sparked by a personal tragedy. Or, rather, it was accelerated since our hope was to return to Scotland one day.

Regular readers may also be aware that life didn’t magically ‘get better’ with my move and that I have had a few emotional ups-and-downs over the past year. Most of which can be attributed to the stress and uncertainty I’ve faced with questions about what happens when my current visa expires, and other worries about the next steps for my new future. (I knew this move wouldn’t make life perfect and had expected the ups-and-downs; though I’d hoped for fewer downs than there were!)

But, as I write this, I can feel the road levelling out a bit. There are still a few questions and uncertainties (mostly with visas and jobs!), but things are starting to look a bit brighter at the moment. I admit that if things should fall apart, my mental and emotional health might fall along with everything else, but I’m trying to be hopeful and optimistic.

I don’t know where I will be in another year’s time and that’s a bit scary to me because it means I still don’t have the stability that my heart, mind, and soul so desperately crave. I’m afraid to make plans and I’m afraid of the ‘whatifs’ that haunt my thoughts.

However, I am here in Scotland for now and I’m going to hold onto that for as long as I can because life is happier here than it was the last two years I was in the States. This is home. I just hope that, one day, the Home Office lets me make that permanent!

Comments

Saying a prayer for you that it all works out. I went to Scotland for the first time this year and could not believe how gorgeous it is, and how warm and friendly the people are. I can see why it’s your second home. Again, hoping it all works out so you can stay. xo

by Corinne at 10:43pm (GMT) on August 12th, 2012

Yes, I think that my mom understood why I love it here so much when I brought her to visit a couple of years ago. It really is a fabulous place! And I’ll take all the good thoughts and prayers you’ve got spare. (Hopefully I’ll have some positive news to share on the visa front soon, too!) x

by Just Frances at 12:43pm (GMT) on August 13th, 2012

Wow it is hard to believe it has been 1 year. Seems like yesterday. I am glad you feel at home in Scotland,we all need a sense we belong somewhere. I will continue to pray for you as you continue to settle in.We love you and of course miss you being closer. I am glad you came into our lives through K.

by Carolyn Fenton at 11:38pm (GMT) on August 15th, 2012

I know, I can’t believe it either! I am blessed to have met you—and blessed to have had K in my life. I think of you all often! Lots of love!! xx

by Just Frances at 11:49pm (GMT) on August 15th, 2012

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