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All entries tagged with “faith”

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    Waiting for a future - Jul 3rd, 2013
    Waiting has got to be one of the hardest things in the world when your entire future depends on the outcome. But waiting is what I do these days. I wait. And wait. And wait. And as I wait, I stress and worry. But still, I wait. Because sometimes there’s no hurrying the answer; there’s no bypassing the wait. [more...]

    And another - Jun 30th, 2013
    I’ve just completed an application for another PhD studentship and have realised that I am running out of options and opportunities now. In fact, there don’t appear to be any more opportunities for the upcoming academic year, and I fear that if I don’t begin my PhD studies this year, I never will. [more...]

    A Stirling opportunity - Jun 21st, 2013
    You may recall that I made an enquiry about a PhD studentship back in May, and that I was a bit uncertain about how it would fit with my research interests. But after reading up on the research outline and taking the counsel of some very wise people I know, I decided that it was, in fact, an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. [more...]

    Scholarship hopes - May 31st, 2013
    I am losing hope. Bit by bit, moment by moment. It is a painful process because I fear that my continued loss of hope will inevitably mean that I have to abandon my dreams. [more...]

    Even happier if… - May 29th, 2013
    Today’s post is a list. You would be forgiven to think that lists are an easy-out when it comes to writing, but they are really hard work because they make you think and reflect. So, it’s not a total cop-out. [more...]

    Alone by choice, begrudgingly - May 24th, 2013
    For the vast majority of my adult life, I have been alone. I’ve only ever had two boyfriends, the first of whom was not very nice; the second of whom became my husband and taught me what love was. In between the two, I dated quite a bit in the (seemingly necessary) search for love. [more...]

    Marriage odds - May 21st, 2013
    Eight years ago, I stood at the altar of St John the Baptist Catholic Church and professed my love and dedication to the man who taught me what love was. It was a blessed day filled with joy and laughter and one that I will always remember with happiness. [more...]

    Four years - Apr 26th, 2013
    Life is so very different without Paul and these past four years have been a rollercoaster ride that I never could have imagined. Without Paul, the sad times are sadder, the hard times are harder, and the lonely times are lonelier. [more...]

    Stumbles along the PhD path - Apr 23rd, 2013
    I have just learned that I was unsuccessful in my application for a full-tuition scholarship from the University of Glasgow. I am, to say the least, gutted. I had really wished and hoped that I would be able to waltz into my PhD without financial worries, but it seems that God thinks I’m stronger than that. [more...]

    Post-phobia - Apr 10th, 2013
    For several weeks now, I have been afraid of the post. If I’m at home when it arrives, I dread walking over to pick it up. If I’ve been at work, I dread coming home and opening my door to see a pile of post waiting for me. [more...]

    Searching for happiness? - Apr 2nd, 2013
    I read an interesting article today about happiness. Specifically, it outlined the one thing you should do to be happy, and that was to stop trying to be happy; to stop searching for happiness. [more...]

    A Wednesday ramble - Mar 27th, 2013
    I’m going to delve into a short(ish) stream of consciousness for a bit here, because there’s a lot on my mind that I’ve wanted to share, but I can’t really put it into a coherent form. At the same time, I have several people asking me how things are going with my visa and what my plans are for the summer. [more...]

    Homeless for a cause - Mar 23rd, 2013
    Last night, I found myself sleeping on the cold streets of Edinburgh in the howling winds and forbidding temperatures. It was miserable weather for being outdoors at all—let alone for sleeping in. But still, I chose to do it. [more...]

    Eyelash wishes - Mar 11th, 2013
    I wish on eyelashes. I don’t know when it started. Maybe my parents taught me the superstitious act. I can’t remember. But what I know for sure is that I wish on eyelashes. Every eyelash; every time. [more...]

    All about the money - Mar 6th, 2013
    Right now, my thoughts are all about money; lots and lots and lots of money. Not in a materialistic way, but in a practical way. I need to find £75,000 and I need to find it fast. Or, at the very least, I need to find £13,000 in the next few months. [more...]

    Via, Veritas, Vita - Feb 26th, 2013
    Remember how I told you that I submitted my first PhD application? And that I was a little concerned that I wouldn’t get accepted? Well, that concern seems to have been unwarranted because I have been offered a place at the University of Glasgow, beginning this autumn. Oh yes, I have! [more...]

    A life I value - Feb 24th, 2013
    Yesterday’s post seems to have created some interesting—and unexpected—feedback, so I thought I’d take the time to talk about it some more. [more...]

    Building bridges - Feb 19th, 2013
    On a ramble through the English countryside this past weekend with my brother-in-law and cousin (also in-law), we came across a bit of the trail where the path had eroded away by a stream, leaving a crevice 2-3 feet deep and 2-3 feet wide—but with very crumbling banks on either side. [more...]

    Choosing my own adventure - Feb 18th, 2013
    I’m not a big believer in predetermined destinies. I don’t believe that God has my entire life mapped out and that every little obstacle is a direct result of His work. Certainly, I believe in God and His son—my Saviour—Jesus Christ. [more...]

    Random fate - Feb 5th, 2013
    On Wednesday, February 6, 2002, I was meant to go to St Andrews for the day. Only the friend I was meant to travel with was ill, so I decided to wander around The Royal Mile looking for souvenirs for my family back home in America. [more...]

    Faith for February - Feb 1st, 2013
    When the New Year began, I wrote about my contemplation of giving into misery and hopelessness; of forgoing thoughts of joy and happiness. But, in the end, I resolved to continue hoping for a happier future. I even worked to ensure I started the year off on the right foot with a clear head and a clean flat. [more...]

    Hope does it - Jan 27th, 2013
    Yesterday I shared a big part of my soul by admitting that I fell so hard that I frightened myself. So today I thought I’d share the thing that kept me going; the thing that made it possible for me to get back up. [more...]

    I fell - Jan 26th, 2013
    The truth is, I fell. I fell really, really hard and I spiralled a bit. OK, maybe I spiralled a lot. [more...]

    A happy me - Jan 5th, 2013
    I think that one of the things I struggle with is being happy with me. For a million little reasons, I’ve always found it difficult to be kind to myself; to take care of myself on a spiritual well-being level. [more...]

    New year; new hopes - Jan 1st, 2013
    I like to start each year with a bright, fresh outlook; with a renewed hope for joy and happiness. But I must admit that I hadn’t planned to start 2013 that way. In fact, the post that I wrote over the past few days was one of despair. [more...]

    So long, 2012! - Dec 31st, 2012
    If I am honest, I would have to say that 2012 has been a pretty unhappy year. I think it’s been even worse because I had such high hopes for it; I suppose that hoping for happiness only served to set me up for greater disappointments. [more...]

    Survived - Dec 26th, 2012
    I managed to survive Christmas alone. I won’t lie and say that it was easy. In fact, it was so very hard. My broken heart ached all day long as I watched my Facebook feed fill up with photos of happy families and statuses about the perfect gift from the perfect spouse. [more...]

    Preparing for alone - Dec 22nd, 2012
    I’ve decided to spend Christmas alone this year. I know that sounds silly to some people, but it seems like the right thing to do for me; for my heart. It’s not that I’ve not been invited to spend the day with others; it’s just that it’s hard to spend such a special day in someone else’s home. [more...]

    Failure to launch - Dec 16th, 2012
    Way back in May, I had a failed attempt at re-entering the dating world—and that was after my ego had already been shattered! At the time, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to share the story here or not. But it seems to me that the story should be shared because I keep reflecting on it, so it’s obviously something that’s been bothering me. [more...]

    Visa hiccups - Dec 8th, 2012
    It would seem that I am being challenged on my visa journey this time around. And it is so very frustrating! As you may know, I have been trying to switch my visa from a Tier 4 (Student) to a Tier 2 (General Work). But to do that, my employer needed to apply to the UKBA to become a sponsor. [more...]

    The master - Nov 23rd, 2012
    The day you’ve all been waiting for has arrived! Today is the day that I completed one of my life goals. Yes, today is the day that I graduated—with distinction!—from the University of Stirling with a Master of Letters in Media and Culture. [more...]

    Forty-nine days - Sep 22nd, 2012
    My visa expires in 49 days. My employer is working on getting sponsorship approval for me so that I can apply for a new visa, but I don’t know if it will all happen before my current visa expires. I might be entitled to a two-month extension, giving me a bit of breathing room to apply for the work visa, but I’ve not heard back from the Home Office to confirm that. [more...]

    A step toward the future - Sep 4th, 2012
    I’m working on a big step toward a happier future. Well, I’m working on several big steps at the moment, but there’s only one that’s a certainty at this moment. [more...]

    The dating game - Aug 27th, 2012
    Sometimes I think about dating. Only it’s a confusing topic for me. Not the dating part; I know how to do that. It’s more the mental and emotional part that has me uncertain. And not uncertain in an ‘Am I ready?’ way; uncertain in an ‘I am a mad woman’ way. [more...]

    That dissertation? Done. - Aug 20th, 2012
    First, an apology for my absence the last week. I’ve had some Website glitches and had to enlist the help of some amazing friends who are fluent in Web Geek (I am merely conversational at best). Anyhow, the site is still under observation and I may be absent again—but I will tell you all about that later. [more...]

    A year later - Aug 12th, 2012
    Today marks one year since I hit the reset button on my future. Yes, it’s been one year since I moved back to my beautiful, beloved Scotland. [more...]

    I dreamt a dream - Jun 16th, 2012
    I wrote this poem a few weeks ago, when life was going great and my future was filled with hope: job prospects; PhD funding opportunities; and more! When I wrote it, I did so bracing myself for disappointment (hence the second part) but the hope kept coming and I actually began to think that maybe—just maybe—my dreams were starting to come true. [more...]

    Counting my chickens - Jun 8th, 2012
    A couple of weeks ago, I sat looking at my eggs. They were held in separate baskets and they looked so pretty; so promising. And, as I do, I began to count them. [more...]

    Quiet-ness - May 26th, 2012
    I’ve been quiet again. (Still?) So I feel that I should pop in and say hello, since so often I’m quiet when life is hard and I’m feeling down. But that’s not the case right now. Well, mostly not the case. [more...]

    Sunny days - May 23rd, 2012
    The sun is shining brightly in Scotland today. And I am so thankful for it because it’s made me realise how happy I am right now. [more...]

    Seven years - May 22nd, 2012
    I started a post yesterday, but couldn’t bring myself to finish it through the tears. You see, yesterday was my 7th wedding anniversary—and the 4th one I’ve spent as a widow. And it really hurts to realise that, which means that the past couple of days have been filled with tears and sorrow. [more...]

    The Desiderata way of life - Apr 23rd, 2012
    It’s time to answer another of your questions so I’m going back to the first request to write about a poem that has stirred great emotions for me. (Don’t worry—I’m working on a couple of family history posts for that question, too!) [more...]

    Without regret - Apr 21st, 2012
    OK, I’m going to answer another question from when I asked what you wanted me to write about. The second question was if I believed in having regrets. So, here’s my take on the issue! [more...]

    An Easter reflection - Apr 8th, 2012
    Easter Sunday is rolling to a close and I’m sitting here thinking about how wonderful my life is because of my Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ. I truly am blessed to have the love of Jesus in my heart and in my soul. He has been a constant in my life and my faith in Him and the salvation He offers has kept me going these past few years. [more...]

    My Good Friday - Apr 6th, 2012
    Today is Good Friday, a day of great importance for many Christians—including me. It’s also a day of fasting for Catholics (and maybe other religions?). So, I’m fasting. I’m not starving, but I’m certainly fasting. [more...]

    A Lenten poem - Feb 22nd, 2012
    I’ve written about Lent and my beliefs in the past but try as I may, this year I couldn’t come up with the words. Not because of a lack of faith, but rather because I don’t know what more I can add to the discussion. [more...]

    Random thoughts: Challenging things - Feb 14th, 2012
    Random thoughts—Week 2: Write a list of 10 challenges you’ve faced in the last three months. Pick one and write about it. Wow. Ten challenges in three months? I guess that means I’m going to have to define challenges a little more loosely than I normally would. [more...]

    Random thoughts: Top 50 no-gos - Feb 10th, 2012
    Random thoughts—Week 1: List 50 things I’ll never do. [more...]

    Just because you fall - Feb 6th, 2012
    I’ve done my fair share of falling in my life—literally and figuratively. Sometimes because I was clumsy or negligent. Sometimes because I was pushed or tripped by someone else. Sometimes because of circumstances beyond human control. [more...]

    31 happy things - Jan 31st, 2012
    The last couple of months have been a real struggle for me emotionally. I don’t know why; I don’t know what triggered it. (Well, I think I know some of the why and what, but I’d rather not talk about it just yet.) But, the struggles have left me feeling bleak and weak and teetering on surrender. [more...]

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