Just Frances

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All entries tagged with “faith”

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    Ness, again - Sep 29th, 2014
    Yesterday was the 2014 Loch Ness Marathon, with 2,478 people crossing the finish line at the end of the gruelling 26.2-mile course. I was one of them, crossing under goal time by more than five minutes. (Yay, me!) [more...]

    Pride to the power of 10 - Sep 24th, 2014
    My friend, LA, introduced me to The Bliss Scandal so I decided I’d sign up and see what it was all about. To be completely honest, I wasn’t interested in taking most of the challenges. But that’s OK because I think that’s part of finding your bliss: Knowing when to say “no”! Anyhow, today’s challenge was one I was excited about because it was one I needed. And I needed it because it gave me an opportunity to think positively about myself. (Something I’m struggling with right now.) [more...]

    Bob and Dave’s 2014 review - Sep 18th, 2014
    Today was Bob and Dave’s annual check-up, to determine just how well they’re coping with life. Bob and Dave, if you don’t know, are my kidneys. They suffer from polycystic kidney disease (PKD) and have lived their entire lives working really hard to keep ahead of the disease. [more...]

    ITP Awareness Month: A brave child - Sep 13th, 2014
    [Guest post] It all started when we got back from our family vacation last year. I was getting my then-five-year-old daughter, Destiny, to bed one night when I noticed a bunch of red dots all over her stomach and legs. I asked my partner to come look at it and she said it looked like it could be heat rash, so we decided it was nothing to worry about. A couple days went by and we saw even more little red dots. [more...]

    ITP Awareness Month: A sister’s view - Sep 9th, 2014
    [Guest post] Idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura. Try saying that three times fast. No? Okay, how about we just call it ITP for short. But what is ITP, you ask? It is a disorder that makes people bruise easily and means that when they get your average, every day, run of the mill cold, they could end up in the hospital because their immune system isn't quite up to the task of fighting off the cold on its own due to their low platelet count. [more...]

    ITP Awareness Month: An iceless challenge - Sep 1st, 2014
    Right! It’s ITP Awareness Month again so let’s start raising some awareness! I decided to tackle awareness month differently this year, because I think we need to start shouting a bit louder. After all, sometimes you have to raise your voice to raise awareness. [more...]

    Dating downtime - Jul 12th, 2014
    No one said that dating was going to be easy, but I didn’t expect it to be as difficult as it’s been. Part of that, I suppose, is because I had this naïve notion that I’d just meet someone, sparks would fly, and the rest would be a lovely little fairy-tale. After all, that’s how it happened last time. [more...]

    Running excuses - May 23rd, 2014
    It’s time once again for the Edinburgh Marathon Festival, which means it’s time once again for me to make some lousy excuse for why I will have a horrible time. (Running time, not emotional time.) [more...]

    My anxiety story - May 13th, 2014
    It’s Mental Health Awareness Week, with a focus on anxiety, so I thought I’d share my personal story on the topic. Please know this is a hard thing for me to write because I’m opening up and sharing something that is upsetting and embarrassing to admit. But if sharing my pain can help someone else who isn’t able to share their own story, it’s worth it. [more...]

    Although the storm still rages - Apr 26th, 2014
    Today marks five years since I lost my beloved husband so suddenly; so unexpectedly. You’d think that after five years it would feel like a distant memory, but there are still days when it feels like it was only yesterday. [more...]

    Escaping the comfort zone - Apr 23rd, 2014
    Life begins where your comfort zone ends. The magic happens outside of your comfort zone. Success, happiness, excitement, love … it’s all found outside of our comfort zone. [more...]

    An unexpectedly sweet day - Apr 17th, 2014
    For the last few weeks, I have been struggling to overcome my desire to eat loads of candy and sweets as part of my Lenten sacrifice. If you’re a regular Just Frances reader—or if you know me at all—you will know that giving up sweeties is a fairly major undertaking. [more...]

    Hungry girl - Apr 4th, 2014
    I am almost finished with my Lenten sacrifice (only 15 days to go!) and I’m starting to feel hungry. Really, really hungry. But I don’t know if it’s a real, physical hunger or a psychological response to my self-denial. Either way, I’m hungry and I don’t like feeling hungry! [more...]

    Your challenge: Build up, don’t knock down! - Mar 27th, 2014
    I woke up this morning and checked my Facebook feed whilst waiting for my snooze-cycle to end. Only what I read angered me so much that I couldn’t stay still for the full 10-minute “bonus rest” and I found myself getting up and pounding out a quick-and-angry reply to the poster. But the anger and rage remained as I went to the kitchen to make my coffee. So today, you get to read a rant. (Yay!!) [more...]

    First kiss fears - Mar 18th, 2014
    It’s been nearly five years since I last kissed my husband goodnight. It’s been that long since I’ve fallen asleep in his arms; since I’ve felt completely safe and completely loved. And I miss those things so very much. [more...]

    Wet toes - Mar 11th, 2014
    I’ve never been a swimmer, but I’ve always loved the water. I tend to dip my toes in slowly to check the temperature then inch-by-inch I will wade further into the lake. I don’t jump in; I never dive in. No, that’s just not my style. (Partly because I don’t know how to swim; mostly because I am afraid.) [more...]

    40 days for my soul - Mar 4th, 2014
    Tomorrow is the first day of the Lent and I am once again finding my soul humbled at the grace of God and my Lord Saviour, Jesus Christ. [more...]

    I’m ready, but I don’t know how - Feb 27th, 2014
    I decided quite some time ago that I was ready to date again, though I admit to not actually doing anything about it. It’s not because I secretly don’t really want to date though. It’s because I don’t know how to date. [more...]

    Keep living until you feel alive again - Feb 23rd, 2014
    “You will feel better than this. Maybe not yet. But you will. You just keep living, until you’re alive again." I heard this quote the other day and it struck a chord with me. The words were spoken on an episode of Call the Midwife by one of the nuns who was offering comfort to a young woman who had just lost her boyfriend and was going away to grieve. [more...]

    So long, 30s! - Feb 20th, 2014
    Today is my last day of my 30s, so it seems appropriate to reflect on the decade in preparation for the start of my 40s. [more...]

    Finding money - Feb 18th, 2014
    A year ago, I was excitedly talking about applying for PhDs and how I wondered how I would ever afford to actually study if I was accepted somewhere. My first offer wasn’t a funded position so I knew in my heart that it would never happen. But the next two offers included studentship, making my PhD dreams more realistic, indeed! [more...]

    Just four years - Feb 15th, 2014
    Just Frances is four years old. Wow! Can you believe that I’ve been spewing this utter nonsense for that long? And if you thought I might be nearing the end of rubbish things to talk about, you’re wrong. (No apologies. If you don’t like it, you can just stop reading!) [more...]

    De-can’t-ing - Feb 5th, 2014
    I can’t. You can’t. We can’t. But why can’t I, you, we? Maybe it’s not because of the impossible, but rather because there’s so much power in the word “can’t”. And that’s why I’m working to de-can’t my life. [more...]

    Prioritising me - Jan 31st, 2014
    When I wake up tomorrow it will be February; the shortest month in the calendar year and my birthday month. Yes, by the end of the month I will finally be a 40-year-old woman. I’m not freaked out about that (yet!) because age is only a number, but I do admit that my birthdays have been (in general) times of personal reflection in recent years. Only this year, the reflection has begun a bit early. [more...]

    On the other hand - Jan 21st, 2014
    I was half-way over the Atlantic when I moved my wedding rings from my left hand to my right; I had made the decision several weeks earlier that on my return to Scotland I would make the transfer—though that didn’t make it any easier. [more...]

    Ten ways to win my heart - Jan 17th, 2014
    If you asked me what my perfect man looks like, I couldn’t describe him. I imagine he’d be taller than me and I’d like to think that he’d look capable of killing a bear for me, but when I think of some of the men I’ve found myself attracted to over the years, those things have (at times) been very far from accurate. [more...]

    Thirty nine before 40 - Jan 13th, 2014
    My 30s are nearly over. Yes, in just 39 days my age will tick over from 39 to 40. I’m not stressed or upset about that because I don’t believe that age represents oldness, but I admit that I have spent a bit of time reflecting on the ups-and-downs of the last decade. [more...]

    Why should I settle? - Jan 9th, 2014
    It’s been more than four years since my husband died and I’ve yet to enter into a new relationship. I’ve now had four first dates (the fourth not as bad as the first three, but he wasn’t a keeper) but I’ve not found someone to have a second date with. [more...]

    2013: A year in (distorted) review - Dec 31st, 2013
    As 2013 draws to a close, I find myself reflecting on the year’s ups and downs. I’ve been thinking about the good points and the bad points and all of the points in between and I’ve been trying to think of how to recap the year. [more...]

    I believe… - Dec 9th, 2013
    I believe... (A poem by Just Frances) I believe in so many things. / I believe in so many dreams. / I believe in happily ever after / and in the healing properties of laughter. [more...]

    That old settled feeling - Dec 8th, 2013
    It's been nearly a month since my return to Scotland and I am finally starting to feel a bit settled. In fact, I'm feeling settled for the first time in more than a year. Which is a nice feeling, to be certain! [more...]

    PhD dreams: Day 1 - Nov 18th, 2013
    Well folks, it’s happened. It’s finally happened. I have finally started my PhD. Well, I have finally had my first full day as a PhD research student at least. I haven’t actually done any writing. Yet. But that will come soon enough! [more...]

    The hard things - Nov 11th, 2013
    I'm packing my suitcases this evening for another return to Scotland. After two months in the Homeland, it's a bit hard to say goodbye again. But it would have been hard after two weeks or two years. It's hard because no matter how much I love Scotland and my life there, I love the Homeland and my wonderful family and friends. [more...]

    It’s finally here! - Nov 4th, 2013
    Excitedly, I have received my new UK visa today—meaning that I have all of the official bits of government-issued ID to allow me to return to Scotland to start my PhD programme. Yay!! [more...]

    Frustrations and silver linings - Oct 1st, 2013
    Today is October 1, which was my target date for beginning my PhD studies. Only I'm not in Scotland at the moment because I've not sorted out my visa. It's a little frustrating, but I have found several silver linings to it all, so that's OK I suppose. [more...]

    ATAS girl - Sep 27th, 2013
    Remember how I told you that I had to manoeuvre through an additional obstacle before I could apply for my new Tier 4 student visa? And remember how I said I was ever-so-slightly frustrated about it? [more...]

    On being happy - Sep 25th, 2013
    In the past few weeks, I’ve noticed an increase in conversations around happiness and depression so I thought I’d throw some of my own words into the mix. You know, because the Internet needs more opinions! [more...]

    Grave digging - Sep 9th, 2013
    I went to the cemetery to see Paul today, and ended up digging away under his headstone. I hadn't really planned on that, or I'd have taken a spoon with me! [more...]

    Goodbye, Scotland - Sep 4th, 2013
    I’m on the train to England now and will be flying home to America tomorrow morning. It’s weird because part of me feels like I am only going away on a wee holiday, but the other part of me fears this may be forever. [more...]

    Empty fears - Sep 2nd, 2013
    My flat is now nearly empty. The only things that remain (other than the furnishings belonging to the property) are my (nearly) packed suitcases that I’m taking to America. And me. Yes, I have two more nights in this empty flat before I leave Scotland for what I hope will just be a few weeks’ time. [more...]

    The daydream - Sep 1st, 2013
    I daydream. I always have and I always will. I suppose that it’s harmless, though it does sometimes mean that I pin a bit of hope on the happy endings I (almost) always allow myself in my fantasies. [more...]

    The guilt of schadenfreude - Aug 29th, 2013
    I like to think that I am a basically good person. I care about the wellbeing of my fellow man; I pray for health and safety for those I walk this Earth with; I wish for everyone a life of happiness and love. But every once in a while, a little bit of schadenfreude hits me out of the blue and I find myself entertaining a wry smile as I absorb the moment. [more...]

    Finding rainbows through the tears - Aug 26th, 2013
    I’m not a big fan of the rain but when the skies open up I do find myself looking—and hoping—for a rainbow. Rainbows make me smile; they make me happy; they warm my soul. So, I’ve decided that I will try something new by looking—and hoping—for a rainbow in my tears. You know, because tears are sort of like rain. [more...]

    Saving strengths - Aug 20th, 2013
    Following up on yesterday’s post, today I am acknowledging the strengths that save me from the bitterness of my weaknesses. These are a bit more difficult to share because I always feel like others will deny these things to be present in my life (that’s the self-esteem issue I talked about yesterday!) but I have to acknowledge them in myself so that I can counter the bad things I acknowledge. [more...]

    When I close my eyes - Aug 12th, 2013
    Sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine the life I want. It’s by no means an extravagant life—it doesn’t even include winning the lottery—but it’s the life I dream of having. [more...]

    Forgiving a ghost - Aug 4th, 2013
    It’s been 20 years since I last saw him. Twenty years since he caused me an unimaginable amount of pain—pain that has stayed with me all this time. And it’s been 19 years since he died. Nineteen years since that drug-fuelled accident claimed his life; though some had questioned if it was, in fact, an accident. [more...]

    A world of stress - Jul 31st, 2013
    The world seems to be closing in on me right now and it’s destroying my soul. The only thing that is saving me from a complete meltdown is knowing that soon—very soon—some of today’s stresses will naturally resolve themselves. [more...]

    Sleep evades - Jul 22nd, 2013
    I’ve had a couple of sleepless weeks and it’s starting to show in my face. Despite the many happy things happening, there are many frustrating and stressful things that are interrupting my sleep. [more...]

    And I wait - Jul 17th, 2013
    And I wait (a poem by Just Frances) I draw in a breath, long and slow / And I wait / Desperately, hopelessly / I wait [more...]

    A quiet reflection - Jul 11th, 2013
    I’ve been a little quiet lately, and it seems that my absence from the digital world has been noticed. I guess that when people expect to keep up with your life through your website, Facebook, and Twitter accounts, they get a little antsy when you cease using all of them at once. [more...]

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