Just Frances

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For the last time

This entry was posted on Monday, May 2nd, 2011 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: widowhood, sports, scotland, sad, running, paul, olden days, itp, homeland, health, happy, giggles, friends, foster kid, family

Well folks, the Bloomsday 12K results are in. But I’m going to get all melancholy for a bit before I get to that part.

You see, it dawned on me sometime last week that this may very well be the last time I run Bloomsday. It’s not my hometown race and once I leave the Palouse it won’t exactly be convenient to participate. Sure, about a dozen people travel from my hometown for the race each year, but I’m not returning to my hometown; I’m returning to my home county.

It also dawned on me that this was the first time I participated without Paul. We were registered for the race in 2009 but he died a week before the starters’ gun went off. Of course, knowing that it was a matter of ‘when not if’ Paul died, part of me is glad we didn’t run it. I mean, what if the ‘when’ was whilst he was running a race with 50,000 plus people? I don’t know how I could have coped with that. (I know: Whatifs are silly things. But the mind seems to go there from time to time!)

Anyhow, I am a bit sad about my time. I mean, I came in under my goal of 1:45 (just) but it was a whole 23 minutes slower than my last time. And we’ll not talk about what my time would have been in my teens and early-20s when I was at my top fitness!

I know I shouldn’t be upset. After all, my physical, mental, and emotional wellness really took a hit when Paul died and I’m not yet at my pre-widowed levels. (I might not ever be!) I also have to remember that I have had two severe platelet crashes since January—the last of which was just two weeks before the race when I sat in the doctor’s office discussing the possibility of a platelet transfusion. So, really, I probably shouldn’t have been running in the first place! But, I guess that my slow speed is just another indicator of how much life has changed for me in the last two years.

So, now that Bloomsday is done, I guess it’s time to start thinking about that marathon in October. And, of course, the hometown Runner Stumbles 10K over 4th of July weekend—my last American race for who-knows-how-long.

And, finally, here are the times for our group:

  • Nearly-12-year-old nephew, Haden: 1:41:39
  • Me: 1:44:22
  • Nearly-13-year-old niece, Flik: 2:10:14
  • My sister, Celeste: 2:11:31
  • Nearly-12-year-old foster daughter: 2:11:34
  • My neighbour (Kerry): 2:42:28
  • Kerry’s friend, Leslie: 2:42:28

Don’t forget to check out some of our photos, too!

Comments

it must have been a hard race to run for you. I’m so pleased you had so many of your friends and family with you.

and as for the time, it might have been slower than you wanted but it’s still a very respectable time, way faster than the age group average and considering your platelet mutiny, really quite amazing.

I’m not sure how much training we’ll be able to get in together when you’re across here in the UK, but I’m really looking forward to running my first (and quite possibly, last!) marathon with you in October.

Until then, be kind to yourself. Train, but not to excess. And enjoy life whenever you can.

Much love
xx

by Rebecca at 12:42pm (GMT) on May 2nd, 2011

I suppose that one day all of these “first without” and “last ever” memories will be less—and maybe even easier to handle. But with how overwhelming my entire world is right now, these moments seem so much worse.

I hope that I will be able to improve my training schedule soon, and I really am looking forward to some training runs with you once I arrive. I’m certain this will be my one-and-only marathon, but I’m also certain it will be (mostly) fun!

x

by Just Frances at 2:05pm (GMT) on May 2nd, 2011

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