Just Frances

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Sorting swords

This entry was posted on Sunday, February 20th, 2011 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: widowhood, sad, paul, moving

I finally got around to sorting through some of Paul’s stuff. In this case, it was a pile of stock leftover from his eBay business. In total, there are about 50 swords in the pile—and I have no idea what to do with them!

How do you sell swords? I have no idea! I just know that I can’t keep them and that the money will be a nice (though small) addition to my tuition fund. I know that somewhere on the other laptop there is an inventory sheet that lists they’re wholesale and retail prices, I just haven’t looked at it yet. I also know that there is no way that I’ll get even the wholesale cost back for them if I take them to a pawn shop, but I have to do something with them.

And once that’s done, I have an entire house full of stuff that I have to sort through yet, and I’m not looking forward to it. I mean, these swords don’t carry any sentimental value because they were only ever stock—never ‘belongings’—and I know that Paul wanted to sell them just as much as I do.

Can you believe it? Here I am nearly two years after his death I’ve not even started the process of going through any of Paul’s stuff. I can’t bring myself to do it alone and really wanted to take on the task with someone who actually knew Paul, but they’re all 6,000 miles away. And I don’t really expect that anyone is going to travel all this way to help!

If I’m honest, I don’t want to sort through Paul’s stuff—at least not on my own—and would rather just ignore the task. Which was fine for a while, but now that I’m moving I have to actually start taking care of these things. I can’t take all of Paul’s t-shirt and underpants to Scotland with me, after all!

However, I’m not ready for the heartbreaking task of going through Paul’s actual stuff just yet so will keep my head buried in the sand a little bit longer.

At least I’m going through the things that have no sentimental value. That’s a start, right?

Next up: Paperback books. They are half-way between sentimental value and no sentimental value so might not be too difficult.

(And if you’re a sword collector or have always just fancied owning a replica of the ‘Braveheart’ sword—give me a shout!)

Comments

Starting with the ‘stuff’ rather than Paul’s possessions and personal things is definitely a good place to start. Sorting things through is hard at the best of times, unimaginably difficult when they belonged to someone you love. Small steps and a task at a time is probably the way to do it. You’re amazingly strong, Frances, and I know you’ll do it. I wish I could come across to help but it’s just not possible at the moment.

xx

by Rebecca at 7:24pm (GMT) on February 20th, 2011

I wish you could come, too! I guess it’s one of those expat/repat things that I’ll have to get used to though—feeling so separated from everyone!

I woke up this morning feeling less enthusiastic about the process, but I know that I can box and store as much stuff as I want to, which helps.

I wish I felt as strong as people think I am some days ...

xx

by Just Frances at 10:46pm (GMT) on February 20th, 2011

You are (as strong), it’s just hard to recognise it sometimes when you’re so busy coping with being strong!

by Rebecca at 7:59pm (GMT) on February 21st, 2011

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