Quietness

I’ve been quiet lately and I’ve found it hard to get back into the swing of things because I don’t know how to move past the silence. It’s like when you don’t call someone for a few days then feel guilty for ignoring them so you continue the silence rather than face the embarrassment of apologising for not being in touch. (Certainly, I’m not the only one that happens to?)

But sometimes you just have to swallow your pride, pick up the phone, and call. Or in my case, blog.

First, I suppose I should apologise for the silence. Because my silence has extended to Facebook, forums, and general blog readership – in addition to Just Frances – my absence has been noted. And that noticed absence has caused concern for some of my readers and friends.

Many of you have been amazing supporters over the years as I’ve experienced the roller coaster ride of widowhood. And I realise that my multi-platform silence has meant some of you became concerned that I was experiencing great amounts of grief or sadness.

For that, I am truly sorry.

I can’t promise I won’t go quiet again, but I will try to be better at communicating. (My Twitter account tends to remain active, so you can see “proof of life” from the feed on the Just France homepage, or you can follow me there if you’d like.)

Next, an explanation of the silence.

My silence hasn’t really been about sadness, but rather about illness and frustration. My last post (a month ago!) was about my return to the gym and I was pretty excited about it. For the next week, I was an excited little gym bunny and was feeling pretty energised.

Then I got sick. Conjunctivitis (that’s pink eye for my American readers) and an ear infection – in addition to a fever and other cold-and-flu related pains and miseries. (I’m almost better, though I still have a sore throat.)

Of course, in the midst of being sick, I had not one but three weeks of conferences and seminars to attend. Unfortunately, being sick meant that I didn’t fully enjoy them and I probably didn’t get the full benefit from them, but I learned a lot from the experiences.

And, sadly, some of my silence has been due to the frustration of “helpful” people who thought they’d “fix” my life for me. (I’ll leave it there as this isn’t the place for me to rant about that.)

But don’t worry! It hasn’t all been bad. Despite being sick, I’ve managed a bit of fun over the past month, too. So, here are the highlights I would have ordinarily blogged about:

• I enjoyed a nice day out at the National Museum of Scotland
• I participated in a PhD conference that saw me presenting my first academic poster – which was short-listed, though didn’t win a prize
• I went to Wakefield for my niece-in-law’s wedding celebration
• I attended a week-long PhD summer school
• I went to a charity pétanque game day that ended in my participation in a world-record attempt at mass tree-hugging at the Edinburgh Royal Botanic Gardens
• I participated in the inaugural Tram-n-Beer crawl with a couple of friends (next year will be even better!)
• I chaired a doctoral colloquium that I was a co-organiser for

So, yeah, it’s been a busy few weeks despite my quietness.

Anyhow, I am feeling much better now and think I’m just about rested up from my lengthy illness. I also have a few fun-filled activities coming up that I’ll try to share with you.

Sorry again for the silence and sorry for worrying those of you who were worried. (I appreciate the messages of concern though!)