I thought about it
It’s Friday Eve and my foster daughter had a visit with her mum meaning I was on my own for dinner with plenty of time to go out to a restaurant and eat a meal all on my own. I started thinking about the perfect place for an evening meal. A fancy place? A fast food place? Something in between?
Of course, those of you who followed my grief blog may recall the difficulty I had in coming to grips with solo dining. Before getting married, I dined alone without care and sadness. But once widowhood set in, dining alone was no longer a choice – it was [to be melodramatic] like a life sentence. Lunch on my own is no problem: Just take a book and folks will think you’re just on lunch break from the office. But dinner on my own? Well, that just says I don’t have anyone to dine with!
Anyhow, I thought and thought and thought about where to go do dinner but I realised that I didn’t want fast food, the fancy places would be reminders that I don’t have a dinner date, and the family places would be reminders that I don’t have a [traditional] family. Plus, watching happy couples and/or happy families would just make me want to be sick or make me cry.
So, what’s a girl who’s boycotting Pizza Hut to do?
And the answer is to stop off at The Green Frog for pizza-to-go [the Sparky and Lola, again] on the way home. Not only is it better pizza than Pizza Hut, but it’s just 10 miles from home (as opposed to Pizza Hut’s 25 miles) so the pizza won’t be as cold when I tuck in.
Yes, I know that one day I will need to dine solo again. I guess that tonight just wasn’t the right night.
Dining alone in the evening is so hard. There is something supremely wierd about it. It’s still something I find incredibly difficult. Taking a book does help, you can pretend you’re staying away from home for the evening. Mobile phones with interne access are also a godsend. One writer (John Thaw’s widow, can’t remember her name) suggests pretending to be a writer/restaurant critic and taking a notebook and pen with you. I have tried all of these things, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Just so you know you’re not alone….
xx
I can only imagine how terribly difficult it must be, as I have realized that eating out alone is also difficult for me and I have a family. It just feels like people are looking at you with some sort of judgement when you are dining by yourself. One suggestion may be, when you feel like giving it a try, that you look for someone else who is a lone diner and ask to join them, you may at least have some entertaining conversation or make a new friend!
I used to not care, which I think is the hard thing. And I don’t know if I care now because of the whole widowhood thing, or if it’s an age thing. I just know that it’s no longer a cool thing.
I like the idea of pretending to be a food reviewer though! But I don’t know that I’d ask to join other solo diners. I’d rather dine alone then get stuck dining with a prat! 🙂