She/Her: International pronouns day
Today is International Pronouns Day, so please let me introduce myself to you, again. (And again.)
Hello, my name is Frances, and my pronouns are she/her (and other related female pronouns, as appropriate).
I have been using my pronouns for several years now, although when I first started to use them (generally in emails) I didn’t consider pronouns to be linked with my gender identity, per se. I was/am a CIS-gendered woman and there has never been a question or doubt in my mind about that.
Indeed, long before sharing pronouns became a “thing” in the mainstream, I found myself frustrated by being misgendered in written communications or by phone callers asking to speak with “Mr.” Having a name that is common for women and men (albeit generally with different spellings) means that some people just don’t know and are taking a guess. And so, in composing emails to people I didn’t know, I started to indicate my gender in some way or another regularly.
In recent years, however, using pronouns (or, rather, sharing preferred pronouns) has become commonplace and I have embraced it. My email signature includes (she/her) after my name and my social media bios all indicate my pronoun preference. Indeed, even my “About Me” page on this blog states my pronouns as she/her. And when the occasion calls for a name badge, I add my pronouns clearly to that, too.
Whilst I appreciate that not everyone wants to include their pronouns in email signatures and name badges, I am here for anyone who wishes to communicate such information about their identity. The way I see it, I am helping to normalise the practice which might help those on society’s margins feel more comfortable sharing their pronouns – or at least that they are safe to do so with me.
In part, that’s because I have a lot of family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues who are members of the LGBTQ+ community (and almost certainly more than I know of) and it is important to me that they are comfortable sharing their identities with me. But it’s not just about the people I know and love, it’s also about the people I may never know – and indeed, even people I may not like.
Some might call my declaration of my pronouns “virtue signalling”. And I suppose, in a way, it is. I am trying to signal to others the virtues of kindness, acceptance, and inclusivity. Those are certainly good virtues to signal to the world!
As for you and your pronouns, I will always do my best to ensure I am using the pronouns of your choice. I am a human, so I will get it wrong at times (never intentionally) but I will always do my best to get it right.
Signed, Frances (she/her)