Solo
I arrived in Scotland nearly two months ago, and am now on my own for the first time. In fact, I am on my own for the first time since July when I left the home I shared with Paul to stay with my parents for a few weeks before my move. I knew that I’d be on my own again at some point, so at least it’s not so unexpected!
My current solo-ness comes because the friend I’m staying with, Rebecca, left for her holiday to Italy this morning. (That’s a photo of her heading for her first leg of the journey.) But the solo-ness won’t end when she returns in two weeks, because the day after she gets home, I will be moving into my new flat. This means that today is the beginning of solo-living for both of us!
I’ll be honest and say that I have mixed feelings about the solo-ness of it all! I mean, I am looking forward to living on my own again (not because I don’t like living with Rebecca, but rather because I like to have my own space – as does Rebecca, I’m sure!). But at the same time, I am dreading it. I am dreading living in silence. I am dreading the reminder that I am no longer a happily married woman. And I am dreading the loneliness that comes with that.
But I am looking forward to having my own space, too. I am looking forward to making a new home for myself where my new future can thrive. And I’m looking forward to re-learning how to be happy with my own company.
Of course, I am lucky because for the next two weeks of solo life, I have plans to spend time with “real life” people and I have the excitement of packing for my new flat to keep me occupied.
And in two weeks when Rebecca is home and I am in my new flat, she’ll be just around the corner for visits! After all, I’ll need a social life and Rebecca is a blast to socialise with!
I imagine that the next two weeks will be filled with mixed emotions as I re-adjust to life on my own once again. And I imagine my posts may be a mixture of emotions because of it. So, I apologise in advance for any sadness (though I’m sure there’ll be happiness to share, too).
Oh! And if you’re looking for fun and adventure, be sure to check out Rebecca’s blog because she’s sure to be sharing her travel stories with the ethos! (Have I ever mentioned how much I admire her for taking these amazing solo holidays? No? Well, I do. A lot!)
So, here’s to solo-ness! And a reminder to me (and everyone else) that solo doesn’t have to mean lonely and sad. Solo can be happy and empowering, too!
I know he doesn’t have much conversation, but you do have Cat to keep you company for the next 2 weeks, remember!
And while, yes, I will enjoy my space when you move out, I will miss your company too. It’s been so much fun having a flat mate. And one with such a wicked sense of humour too.
But you won’t be far away – almost on my way home really. And I’m up for Friday night cocktails any time you are!
It has been great sharing space with you–and it helps that you ‘get’ my wicked (if not slightly odd) sense of humour! I will look forward to Friday night cocktails as well as training runs with you! We’ve a half marathon to get ready for, after all!! x
Has it really been two months already? That’s crazy.
I think you have the best attitude! You’re aware of the mix of emotions that this will be for you, but you aren’t shying away from it either. You know how much I love you! This is just one more reason why, you brave, awesome girl!
I think knowing there will be crazy emotions helps. Anytime I can anticipate my emotions, I seem to have an easier time with them. It’s when I’m knocked over out of the blue that I struggle. (Thankfully, that happens less and less often these days!)
And, of course, knowing that there are awesome friends like you out there cheering for me helps to keep it all in perspective!!
Love you!! x
First of all never apologize for sharing your feelings sadness included, it’s what makes you human & what makes you well YOU! And as you stated above, you do have friends here to help you get through the times. Even if it’s just a late night ciber chat, we are here for you! you are a positive energy person who wants to be happy so be assured that the sad moments won’t last long and maybe they, sometimes, are just there so that we know what feeling happy really is~ You are an incredibly strong & brave & a brilliant woman, and I for one am happy to share your life with you- so you are never truly alone <3
Thanks, Ramona! It really does help knowing people are there on the other end of a wireless signal when I need them!! x