Just Frances

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An Edinburgh non-starter

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 24th, 2016 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: stubborn, sports, sad, running, ocd, itp, health, goals, ego, crazy, confession

With five weeks to go until the Edinburgh Half Marathon, I’ve realised that it’s time for me to be honest about my ability to participate. And, if I’m honest with myself, I don’t think it would be wise for me to attempt it… even though there’s a stubborn voice in my head telling me to risk it.

But then I look at the reality of it all:

I ran a wee 5k in early January, whilst recovering from a mild cold. And I didn’t run at all in between then and the Inverness Half Marathon in March. And come the Inverness Half, I was stricken with the flu and couldn’t participate in the race. Only I was so stricken that my ITP acted up and I spent five weeks seriously ill and unable to walk a mile, let alone run.

So here I am, five weeks from another half marathon and I am finally starting to feel better. I’d say I’m maybe 90% normal again. But other than a wee tester run last weekend (1.5 miles that nearly killed me!) I still haven’t run since that 5k in January.

And now I have to acknowledge that with five weeks to go, whilst I’m still recovering from being sick and my platelet counts have been a bit haywire, there’s just no way I can manage a 13.1 mile race. I mean, I know that I have run races without training in the past, but this is different because I’ve also been quite ill. I’m talking bedrest ill. I’m talking sleeping for 12-16 hours a day ill. I’m talking platelet counts so low they could kill me ill.

And so, I’ve realised the only sane thing to do is to forgo the race and let my body heal up a bit. It’s a very frustrating realisation for me, too. In part because I’ve already paid the registration fee. And because I know it will impact my ability to meet my 2016 running goals. But mostly because my ego doesn’t like not doing things that I’ve said I would do.

Things have been absolutely crazy these past few weeks though, and I know that May and June will be extremely busy and crazy, too. So I’ve decided that I need to think about the long-term. And in the long-term, it’s better for me to ease myself back into running over the next several weeks… and training for a half marathon isn’t the way to do that.

I am still hoping that I’ll be good to run a couple of halfs in the autumn. And I am still holding out hope that I might be able to meet my time goals. But I have a bigger goal to stay healthy and alive, so if a sub-two half has to be sacrificed to ensure I’m healthy and alive, so be it!

Of course, the fact that I can attend the Whisky Stramash on marathon weekend now hasn’t skipped my mind. (But that’s not the reason for the decision. Really. I promise!)

Anyhow… now that I am feeling better I hope that I am able to share some of my fun adventures with you. As I said, May and June will be busy… including trips to France and England. And that means photos! (And postcards for Mum!)

Comments

Happy that you’ve been brave enough to make the decision this far out so you can enjoy May and recover properly without concerning yourself with dragging yourself to the start of the race.

by DEL Boy at 7:59pm (GMT) on April 24th, 2016

You have no idea how hard it was to make the decision! I am not (generally) one to go back on something I said I would do, and I *did* say I would do this race. But… on occasion I let my common sense-ical side speak louder than my stubborn side. Not often… but sometimes… :)

by Just Frances at 2:41pm (GMT) on April 25th, 2016

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