I am; I want

Yesterday’s writing prompt was to write “I am” ten times, then fill in the rest of the sentence. Today’s was to write “I want” ten times, then again returning to fill in the rest of the sentence. I decided to combine the two prompts into one post, as they are ever-so-slightly related.

I decided to allow half of the “ams” to be adjectives and the other half to be emotion – and all of the “wants” to be emotion. (Otherwise, I’d have included “I want to have enough money to …” or “I want to break my 10K PB by …”.)

So, without any further ado:

I am…

I am a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, and widow.

I am a runner, writer, researcher, and artist.

I am quirky, weird, silly, and eccentric.

I am a redneck and a Catholic.

I am a fan of real ale and single malt whisky.

I am afraid of what the future holds for me.

I am lonely, even in crowded rooms.

I am worried that I’ll never feel whole again.

I am filled with anxiety and dread.

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better than today.

I want…

I want to run away from the world some days.

I want to scream at the top of my lungs.

I want to know the answers to questions I’m afraid to ask.

I want to be loved fully and completely.

I want to love myself again.

I want to trust again; to find someone I can trust completely.

I want all of my stress and fears to fade away.

I want to feel safe and secure again.

I want to look forward to my future again.

I want to be happy with my life again.

And there you have it. Please know these aren’t meant to sound sad or defeatist, they’re just acknowledgements of some of the thoughts I have.

I have been a bit remiss in my blogging and my personal journaling as a whole, but I am going to work to get better at both. I have a pretty big PhD deadline coming up so don’t expect daily posts anytime soon! But you never know …