Just Frances

Made with 100% pure awesomeness.

Three first dates

This entry was posted on Monday, September 16th, 2013 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: widowhood, homeland, ego, dating, confession

It seems that my dating life is of great interest to folks these days—just like it was before I was married. In fact, the vast majority of people I’ve run into here in the Homeland seem to get around to the question of my dating life before our initial conversation ends. After all, many people still judge a person’s worth and happiness on their relationship status—and just plain ol’ widowed isn’t a good enough status for some.

Are you dating yet? Have you found someone new yet? When are you going to date again? Do you have a boyfriend? Are you married? (From those I’ve not seen in a really long time.) The questions vary based on how well someone knows/knew me and if they’re friends on Facebook or not. But I’d like to think that the questions are all based on genuine concern for my happiness. (Well, except for one who was just being a [censored]; I put her in her place though.)

So, here it is:

I do not have a boyfriend nor am I actively dating. And, no, it’s not because I’m still grieving for Paul; it’s just because I’ve not found someone yet. I am open to the idea of meeting someone, but I am not actively searching for anyone. I am not looking online or in bars or at book clubs. I am just living my life and if I meet someone nice, I will consider going on a date.

Of course, I’ve done that three times already without success.

And since one of my questioners is an on-again/off-again Just Frances reader* who is certain he’s not seen any tales of dating, I promised him that I would share a post that recapped it all, even though I’ve already mentioned all of them. But that means that if you’ve also missed out, you’ll be caught up now.

My three first dates, a summary:

  1. Me or Them Guy
    This was my first-ever date after Paul died and though it was awkward, we agreed to a second date. But before we made it that far, he found out that I still spent time with my in-laws and told me to make a choice. It was a very easy choice to make, as my in-laws are family and family always comes first! (Read more here.)
  2. Perverted Texting Guy
    Shortly before Christmas, I was nearly knocked over exiting Waverly Station and this guy came to my rescue. He insisted on taking me for lunch to give me time to collect myself and seemed rather nice. He asked me out on a proper date for the following week and I said yes. But then he started to send increasingly inappropriate and sexually suggestive and aggressive text messages so I cancelled the date. (Read more here.)
  3. Bacon Roll Man**
    I bumped into this man when I was getting a bacon roll on my way to work one day and we sort of waved and said hello for the next couple of weeks. Then I bumped into him again and we set a proper dinner date. Our dinner date was really a lot of fun and I really felt a connection with him—much more so than the first two guys. Only, it turned out he was married and didn’t bother to tell me. (Read more here.)

And there you have it: My three first dates. So, yes, I have dated since Paul died. I just haven’t found the right guy yet. (I had hoped I had found him, even though we never really dated, but I was wrong.)

For those who are really, really interested and are hoping that I’ll share every moment of my dating life, I’m sorry to tell you I won’t be doing that. In fact, the odds are that you’ll only hear about dating disasters because when I meet the right guy, I’ll be too busy enjoying the company of a fantastic guy!

* Apparently, he forgets about me from time-to-time and when he remembers, he hits the site and reads until he thinks he’s caught up. (What do you mean, you forget about me?)
** His title of man instead of guy doesn’t mean he’s special—I’ve always used boy, guy, and man interchangeably when nicknaming dates.

Comments

I’m still holding out hope that the man from your dreams tracks you down in real life. I think he’s the one for you! (Or maybe not. But you’ll meet the right guy eventually, and you’ll be so happy!)

by Jenn at 3:54am (GMT) on September 25th, 2013

Leave a comment


By submitting a comment, you are agreeing to the comment policy found in the terms and conditions for this website.