Pride to the power of 10
This entry was posted on Wednesday, September 24th, 2014 by Frances Ryan.
Tags: writing, widowhood, stubborn, silly, sad, running, phd, olden days, ocd, lessons, inspirations, health, goals, foster kid, fear, faith, ego, dating, confession, celebrations, arts & crafts
My friend, LA, introduced me to The Bliss Scandal so I decided I’d sign up and see what it was all about. To be completely honest, I wasn’t interested in taking most of the challenges. But that’s OK because I think that’s part of finding your bliss: Knowing when to say “no”!
Anyhow, today’s challenge was one I was excited about because it was one I needed. And I needed it because it gave me an opportunity to think positively about myself. (Something I’m struggling with right now.)
And I’ve decided to share my answers to the challenge with you because, well, it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want!
Write down 10 things you're proud of:
I am proud of my educational accomplishments.
I went from being the “stupid” kid with dyslexia to earning a master’s degree—with distinction!—to beginning a PhD programme. I don’t know where my formal education will end, but I’ve come a long way so far!
I am proud of my willingness (stubbornness?) and ability to run despite my medical conditions.
It’s a bit of a struggle sometimes, and illness sets me back every-so often, but I remain convinced that running is good for me!
I am proud of my ability to teach myself new skills. From making sock monkeys and building websites to crocheting afghans and (eventually) following patterns to make new clothes—there’s always something new to learn and I aim to keep learning!
I am proud of the courage I have to face the world each day.
And it’s hard some days because, as much as you may not want to hear it, grief gets the better of me at times and I just want the world to go away; I want to close my eyes and never have to face life again. But that’s not realistic, so I get out of bed each day and pretend that life is mostly wonderful.
I am proud of my decision to share my own pain, grief, and illnesses in the hopes of helping others.
It’s hard to do sometimes, especially when I’m talking about my grief and fears, but over and over again I’m told that it helps people. And knowing that it helps others seems to also help me. So, I’ll continue to share as long as I can.
I am proud of the (sometimes false) confidence I have in my personal fashion sense.
I know that my personal style is considered uncool by some people, and that some people are even a bit embarrassed by the way I dress, but I like it and that’s what matters! I can’t wait for the day I learn to sew a bit more so that I can really develop my personal style!
I am proud of my creative writing skills.
I know that I’m not the best poet in the world, and I know that my over-all writing skills are award-worthy, but I do pretty gosh-darn good! From short stories and rubbish attempts at full novels, there’s much more to my writing than what I share online, too!
I am proud of the courage I have to face the world as a single woman.
It was really hard to do in my 20s when everyone was convinced that I needed a man to be a real woman. And it’s a hell of a lot harder now, as a widow, because being single* is no longer my choice. Even though it kind of is. And there are so many people who have opinions about whether it’s appropriate for widows to date or not.
I am proud of playing foster mom for a year.
I have to say that the year I had The Kid with me provided me with some of my favourite post-widowhood moments. I hope that, one day, I’m able to experience the blessing of motherhood again—even if only through fostering rather than adoption.
I am proud of my continued growth as a person.
Step by step, little by little, I grow stronger and more confident as me. When I look in the (figurative) mirror, I still see so much room for improvement, but I am pleased to say that I am working on my weaknesses. And one day, I’ll be able to expand my strengths because of it!
So there you have it: A little bit of pride, despite the extremely low self-esteem I often carry with me everywhere I go!
* Single as in not married or otherwise formally coupled-up. [I don’t know what formally coupled-up actually means. I’m sure I’ll know it when it happens though.]